MORE ON THE CHRONIC(WHAT?) CLES OF NARNIA

So, really. I'm getting sick of this. It seems just days after I posted that bit about the Lazy Sunday rap video the Mainstream Media types over at the New York Times turn it into one of their trend stories. C'mon, New York Times! Get your own ideas. I will say, however, that I didn't realize until now that Andy Samberg was one of the guys behind "The 'Bu," which loyal readers will remember I was quite enamored with last spring when it was featured on Channel 101. So if you have time, go check that out. And, as long as you are wasting your life watching television on the Internet, check out Awesometown . MEANWHILE: There's a story on the Web about Apple's upcoming Intel-based hardware. It includes the following quote:

"Let’s not also forget that Intel also offers marketing dollars (several hundred million, if I’m not mistaken) to [computer manufacturers] who display the 'Intel Inside,' 'Pentium,' and 'Centrino' logos on their hardware," Margevicius added. "I would expect Apple to do the same."

You would? Seriously? Because I'm going to guess that Steve Jobs will not let an Intel sticker get within 100 miles of the next iMac. That's just my guess.

SLOW NEWS WEEK

So I know there's not much to read out there on the Internets over the holidays, but here's some stuff to tide you over until January: In honor of Festivus, Chicagoist airs its grievances to the City of Chicago. No word yet as to who prevailed in the Feats of Strength. ... It was Katie Holmes' birthday earlier this month - and People Was There! They've got a photo slideshow up on their Interweb site. But I wonder if they really needed to publish this photo saying that Katie needed "extra blowing power from Cruise." Indeed. ... With the recent demise of Red Streak, I think there's a vacuum in the Chicago Youth Tab market. If anyone is with me, I think we should start a new one. We'll call it Red Stripe. It'll be all about bars and drinking. Look out, Metromix! ... The LAT has a lengthy piece about Tony Ridder that you newspaper-types might be interested in. But, if you are a newspaper-type, you probably already saw it on Romenesko. ... ... And finally, Monday's Headline of the Day comes from our friends at the Charlotte Observer. On a story about the historic final broadcast of Monday Night Football on ABC, the headline was: MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL ON ABC DA-DA-DA-DONE.

CHRISTMASTIME IS HE-ERE

From all of us here at the dot com, Merry Christmas!

I'M GHOST LIKE SWAYZE

Almost forgot this one... SNL's The Chronic of Narnia rap video: 68th and Broadway! Step on it, sucka! What you wanna do? Snack attack, motherf***er! Yo! Stop at the deli! The theater's overpriced. You got the backpack? Gonna pack it up nice! Don't want security to get suspicious. 'Cause Mr. Pibb and Red Vines equals Crazy Delicious!

THE ONE WITH THE DOT DOT DOTS...

Red streak calls it quits, publishing their final edition today. I asked Bankhurst to pick me up a copy of the last issue. He said he would try, but it's really hard to find them. That's a sad commentary, considering he works in the same building as the Sun-Times newsroom. I'm no circulation expert, but perhaps that was part of the problem... The pharmacist at Walgreen's told me that I looked like the Kooch today. I told her I needed a Von Dutch hat... I finally got a new cell phone. This one actually "works in Indiana." So I've got that going for me, which is nice. I've got it syncing wirelessly with my PowerBook. It'll even control iTunes and Front Row. Not that I have a hacked version of Front Row running on my Powerbook or anything. *cough* (I'm a geek.) ... Employees from the Tribune, Sun-Times, Indy Star and the Mercury News gathered in Chicago last weekend for the "Midwest Newspaper Summit," also known as "Mansfield, Wendt, the Burkes, Eric White and Marlatt get beers at Harry Caray's" ... Los Angeles Magazine has an exhaustive write-up on Defamer... T-Ball's blogging from his vacation in Europe... Michael Ian Black has a new essay on McSweeney's entitled What I Would be Thinking About if I Were Billy Joel Driving Toward A Holiday Party Where I Knew There Was Going To Be A Piano... Eight years ago The Onion kicked it Larry King Style too... And Tony Dungy's son was found dead in his apartment, so I'd better go to work.

ARRR!

So on Tuesday Apple added a whole new slew of TV shows to iTunes -- all from NBC owned networks -- including one of my favorites: The Office. That night, I'm watching the latest episode and the plot revolves around a secret Santa Christmas party. Despite the $20 cap on the cost for gifts, somebody spent $400 on ... a video iPod. They then go on to drop the word "iPod" no less than a dozen times. Seriously, Apple. Are those things not popular enough as it is? You need that much product placement? Next thing you know the Losties will find a Nano in the Hatch. MEANWHILE: Sal's got a new column up ... and don't miss Pirate riddles for sophisticates (thanks, Chuck!)

WINTER COCKTAILS

So, sadly, I will miss this year's Winter Cocktail at Sal's home in San Jose. An excellent substitute, however, was John's Christmas party up in Chicago. You can read all about it over at the Factor. (Incidentally, you can also see a picture of me looking fat. And not with a "ph.") But the point of this post was to point out the creation of the Christmas Miracle III. You may remember the original: One part vodka One part triple sec One part cranberry juice One part apple cider Splash of lime juice It was a spicy and refreshing holiday concoction created years ago at the 2003(?) Winter Cocktail. The Christmas Miracle III is a slightly sweeter - and fizzier - variation: One part Mandarin Absolute One part cranberry juice Splash of ginger ale Splash of apple pucker Now, of course, you are probably saying to yourself, "Christmas Miracle III! How can that be? That would suggest a Christmas Miracle II! This is madness!" You are correct on both counts. To avoid confusion, we quickly changed the name of the Christmas Miracle II to the Night Before Christmas -- because really, it's a completely different cocktail. More of a modified White Russian. And now that I say it, perhaps the better name is the White Christmas. Speaks to its heritage. Anyway, I'll let you decide: Fill a glass with ice One part Kahlua Half part vodka Top with (drum roll ... ) egg nog The Dude might call it a Christmas Caucasian. ALLOW MYSELF TO INTRODUCE ... MYSELF: Speaking of Sal, his column debuted on Monday (along with a hefty 1A promo)