LEAVE THE DRINKING TO THE PROFESSIONALS

So I'm reading the Dec. 29 - Jan 11 edition of the Wave, "Silicon Valley's Finest Entertainment & Lifestyle Magazine" and I come across this in their special Downtown San Jose issue:

THE BAR EXAM Test your knowledge of Downtown's nightclubs

Clever headline they've got there. But better yet, let's test the Wave's knowledge...

FLYING PIG PUB A self-proclaimed American Pub, the Flying Pig serves standard beers on tap, in addition to a dizzying assortment of bottled beers and specialty drinks, including the Flying Rita and Bloody Boar. If you need to dilute the alcohol with some solids, the pub serves its own variety of dinner grub until two in the morning, every night of the week.

I would wonder if the half dozen bottled beers they had really qualified as a "dizzying assortment." Dizzying, perhaps, if you've already had a drink or seven. And I want to know who the Wave thinks is getting served food until two in the morning? I mean, if by "you" they meant "you, Kenney Marlatt" then perhaps they were correct. But I'm pretty sure they meant "you, general public" - and frankly I'd like to see Joe San Ho order up a plate of Mississippi Chicken at 1:30 a.m. Not gonna happen, Chachie. And what's with the "every night of the week" bit? I don't care what time it is, the Pig isn't serving anything on a Sunday. All of this, of course, is moot, as the Pig shut down for good two days after this issue hit the streets. Something the Wave would have known had they read, say, the real Bar Exam. Just sayin'.