Jack Ryan finally withdrew his name from the Illinois Senate race, paving the way for Barack Obama. It's really a shame that a sex scandal could destroy Jack Ryan's political career. I mean, the guy was a former Marine and an ex-CIA agent. He single-handedly thwarted an attempt to assassinate the Prince and Princess of Wales and helped a Soviet nuclear submarine captain defect to the United States -- with the sub! It's just ridiculous that politics have sunk to this level. SPEAKING OF POLITICS SINKING TO LEVELS: The student body president of my belove-ed DePauw University went to Boston last week to express her displeasure with John Kerry and his past performance. How did she do that, you ask? Well she dressed up as a seven-foot-tall flip-flop. Which is a weird coincidence. It turns out I'm going to be in New York next month dressed as an intellectual lightweight whose inability to comprehend complex issues and unwillingness to be a cooperative leader on the international stage has made America the most hated nation in the world for the first time in history. But I've yet to figure out the right piece of footwear to symbolize that. IN OTHER NEWS: Drudge has the transcript from the big Michael Moore / Bill O'Reilly showdown... and Sal and I wrote another bar review. NEW KID ON THE BLOCK: John, one of my friends from college, has a new blog over at the Blogspot. He's a real world traveller so it promises to be far more interesting than this thing. GIVE 'EM WHAT THEY WANT: In Wednesday's comments, Tennille posed the question "White Castle vs. Crystal." I will add to the question that a drunken run to the Crystal shows up in a Jimmy Buffett song (Great Filling Station Hold-Up). Are there any songs involving drunken runs to the White Castle? Also: Chicken Rings. Discuss indeed.